2013 Post 11- Script Feedback

After completing the first draft of our script, I went through it with my teacher for feedback, she wrote notes onto the pages which I have photographed below.

 The main advice given was to cut larger amounts of text, as they were too narrative, and focus on drawing out the action of key scenes of our film. For scenes where character action would have given the audience information, dialogue was suggested instead to make situations more clear and keep the pace of dramatic moments.

In our script, there are recurring motifs relevant to the character which are shown through actions, useful advice about how this could be filmed, and edited were given which will be incorporated into the storyboard.


My group and I were also fortunate enough to gain professional feedback from the scriptwriter Dudi Appleton on our script. My group member Laura recorded it for us as we discussed the script over Skype, this was then uploaded to Soundcloud which begins at 1:57 into the recording.





Overall, we were delighted to be have been met with such positive feedback, as he seemed to enjoy our script's concept and main character. The main issue he had with our script was that it was not letting the audience into the story enough, and so he gave us advice on improving the way in which we tell the story to the audience, so that the majority can understand better, through keywords and a dramatic punchline.